Andy: Hey, it’s been explained to me everything we should encounter The legend’s pretty old, but the details are pretty clear Tucker: Listen, dude. I don’t care what you say, I’m not killing any monsters Andy: Hey, don’t interrupt! It’s hard enough to translate without you… Tucker: Well, if this little quest depends on me killing stuff, we might as well just stop here Andy: Eh, don’t be a chicken Tucker: I’m not chicken! I’m just… …ok, I’m chicken Alien: Blargh? Blar-blargh. Andy: Blarghy, blargh blargh blar, huhm. Alien: BLARGH, HUHM! Tucker: What’s he saying? Andy: He wanted to know what a chicken is I told him it’s this nasty little bird that humans eat And you also eat the white things that shoot out of its butt Tucker: You know you could’ve cleaned it up a little bit Andy: I did! They don’t come out of its butt, you know Alien: Yargh! Andy: Eheheh, yeah, they’re pretty disgusting Tucker: Chickens aren’t that bad! Andy: He was talking about you guys! He’s not a big fan! I’m not either! Alien: Yrmm.. Andy: Earth. sucks! Tucker: Earth does not suck. Earth rules! We invented the telephone! Alien: Yearg, yergh. Andy: He says they invented the telephone, too! And they did it a thousand years before you did! Tucker: Oh, well, what’d they have to say on it? “Blargh blargh, honk honk?” Who the fuck wants to hear that? Alien: Blargh, honk Andy: Ok, these are the great burning plains we talked about Caboose: They don’t look burning… they look burnt Hey, I recognize this place! Andy: Get ready. He’s gonna distract the monster, and you use your heroic powers to swoop in and… Tucker: “Heroic powers?” Andy: Yeah, you’re the big hero from that prophecy, ain’t you? Tucker: Oh, right. Boy, are you guys going to be disappointed Andy: Don’t forget… go for the weak spot in the armour Tucker: Yeah, and where was that again? Andy: We already went over this! Tucker: Apparently, paying attention to lame biology lessons ins’t one of my super powers Alien: BLARGH!
Andy: Be quiet! Alien: Yeargh!
Andy: Get down Alien: Yeargh, yeargh Andy: He just wants a moment to pace before the plan fails and we all get killed. Alien: -BLARGH!!!! Andy: Oh, sorry… Eh, uh, ah, I wasn’t supposed to translate that last part He says, uh, “don’t worry, everything will be fine!” “Stick to the plan!” Caboose: Ok… …are we adding ‘get killed’ to the end of the plan? Alien: Blargh! Caboose: Doh! Andy: What happened? Tucker: To what? Andy: The big monster! It’s dead, look! Tucker: That thing? You have to be kidding me! Andy: You guys were here already? Caboose: Yes! Uh, before now Tucker: That’s what ‘already’ means, Caboose Caboose: Oh… then, just yes Alien: Blargh, blargh…
Andy: Then you already killed the monster? Tucker: Dude, that’s a cow skull I kill about ten of those things every time I eat lunch Donut: How’s it going, Sarge? Sarge: Well, Simmons has had Grif prisoner in there for far too long He’s probably subjecting him to all manner of unbearable torture! I figure in just a manner of hours, Grif’s spirit will be as broken as his body Unable to cope with the never-ending stimulation of pain and horror! But in answer to your question, things are fine! Could be a little warmer, but I can’t complain Donut: But, Sarge! Aren’t you afraid he’ll give away valuable information? Sarge: Why would Simmons give Grif information? Donut: No, I mean what if Grif tells Simmons valuable information about our operations? Yeah, that sounded smarter before I said it Sarge: I bet Donut: Speaking of operations, though Remember how I told you I wanted to incorporate more positive reinforcement techniques in review sessions? Sarge: Donut, for the last time! Me calling you a worthless turd is not a review session Donut: And remember how you said any proposals had to be submitted in handwritten triplicate with no less than one hundred pages? Sarge: Yes… which would take weeks! You’re finished aren’t you…? Donut: Only if calligraphy’s okay! And I dotted all the ‘i’s with hearts! Hee hee hee! Hee hee! Let me just give you a little teaser on some of the changes Think… mauve! Sarge: Aw, Donut! Donut: What? You don’t like it? Mauve is a form of red! Sarge: Oh, it’s not that I just realized that my only way out of this situation is to launch a rescue mission to save Grif I’ve got me one of them… …uh, Donut? What’s a fancy word for choosing between two things you don’t wanna do? Donut: Uh… conundrum? Dilemma? A threesome with cheerleaders? Sarge: I’m gonna go with conundrum Simmons: Greetings, fellow web surfer. Be sure to subscribe to our channel, before you go. It’ll be just like we’re friends! Not that I… need friends Please, don’t go!