Meanwhile… A Full Thanksgiving Dinner On NYC’s L Train

Meanwhile… A Full Thanksgiving Dinner On NYC’s L Train


YOU KNOW, I SPEND A LOT OF TIME
OVER THERE ROASTING UP THE SUCCULENT, 30-POUND THANKSGIVING
TURKEY THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE. BUT WHILE THAT BABY’S COOKING,
I LIKE TO RUMMAGE AROUND IN THE PANTRY FOR THE SMALLER STORIES,
THE STALE MINI-MARSHMALLOWS, BLOW THE DUST OFF THAT BOX OF
LIME JELL-O, CRACK OPEN THAT BULGING CAN OF MANDARIN ORANGES,
AND TOSS ‘EM ALL TOGETHER IN THE AMBROSIA SALAD OF NEWS THAT
IS MY SEGMENT, “MEANWHILE!”( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
MEANWHILE–( APPLAUSE )
MEANWHILE, AMERICA IS EXCITED FOR THE THANKSGIVING DAY PARADE,
HERE IN NEW YORK, WHERE, FOR THREE HOURS A YEAR,
WE PRETEND THERE HAS BEEN NO ADVANCEMENT IN
ENTERTAINMENT SINCE 1924. UNFORTUNATELY, “GUSTY WINDS
FORECAST FOR NEW YORK ON THURSDAY MAY GROUND THE POPULAR
GIANT BALLOONS,” AS “A STRONG COLD FRONT WILL PASS THROUGH THE
AREA WEDNESDAY EVENING, SETTING UP THE STAGE FOR HOWLING WINDS
AND COOL CONDITIONS ON THANKSGIVING.” THEY ALSO EXPECT THAT EXTREME
CHILL TO MOVE ACROSS THE DINNER TABLE WHEN COUSIN TYLER TELLS
GRANDPA, “ACTUALLY, GENDER IS A SPECTRUM.”( LAUGHTER )
OKAY? OKAY? BUT A CALIFORNIA-BASED COMPANY
IS HERE TO HELP DEFUSE THE TENSION, OFFERING TO HELP YOU
“SURVIVE THANKSGIVING WITH THEIR CANNABIS INFUSED GRAVY.”( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
COME ON! NO! COME ON. THAT IS CLEARLY A GATEWAY
CONDIMENT. IT STARTS OUT WITH A FEW DOLLOPS
OF CANNABIS GRAVY. THEN, NEXT THANKSGIVING, YOU’RE
MAKING P.C.P.-CAN PIE AND GREEN BEAN CRACK-EROLE. MEANWHILE, THIS VIDEO IS GOING
VIRAL OF A FULL-ON THANKSGIVING DINNER BREAKING OUT ON THE
“L” TRAIN TO BROOKLYN HERE IN NEW YORK.>>THANKSGIVING PLATE? HERE YOU GO. HERE YOU GO. ♪ GREEN BEANS, POTATO, TO MATE
OIS ♪>>Stephen: WELL, THERE YOU HAVE
IT: DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE OF THE FIRST TIME ANYONE HAS EVER
BEEN HAPPY ON THE “L” TRAIN.( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
DARK PLACE. DARK, DIRTY PLACE. MEANWHILE, YOU’VE ALL HEARD THE
PHRASE “NETFLIX AND CHILL.” WELL, NOW THAT DISNEY+ HAS HIT
THE SCENE, USERS HAVE CREATED A NEW PHRASE TO ALLUDE TO SEXUAL
ACTIVITIES: “DISNEY+ AND THRUST.”( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
REALLY? REALLY? THAT’S A LITTLE ON THE NOSE. IF YOU’RE LUCKY. THOUGH, STILL NOT AS EXPLICIT AS
“HBO NOW AND PLOW,” OR THE MOST SEXUALLY EXPLICIT STREAMING
SERVICE, “CBS ALL ACCESS.”( LAUGHTER )
( APPLAUSE )
$9.95. $9.95 A MONTH, NOTICE
COMMERCIALS. SYNERGY. MEANWHILE, IN MEAT NEWS, CUSTOMS
AND BORDER PROTECTION SEIZED 154 POUNDS OF “PROHIBITED BOLOGNA”
THIS WEEK AT THE U.S./MEXICO BORDER CROSSING IN EL PASO,
TEXAS. BORDER PATROL AGENTS SEIZED THE
MEAT, BUT THE CRIMINAL FLED THE SCENE. SO AUTHORITIES ARE ASKING THE
PUBLIC TO BE ON THE LOOKOUT FOR THIS VEHICLE.( LAUGHTER )

100 thoughts on “Meanwhile… A Full Thanksgiving Dinner On NYC’s L Train

  1. The hostile European vampires (ego/greed) stole land from earthling human beings (hearts/love). The alien vampires then made dark human beings (hearts/love) into slaves to work the land that they stole. This is what qualifies as brilliance and hard work to the alien vampires. The vampires are infinitely grateful that Satan (greed/hate) provided them prosperity.

  2. 2:33 "(Disney Plus and Thrust) that's a little on the nose… IF YOU'RE LUCKY"

    audience and even commenters here missed it, so I must be the only one who laughed so hard when I first heard it lol

  3. Colbert is little more than your typical whining two year old who can't have all things his way. Whatta pathetic child he comes across as, "Eeww! Look at what HE did! That's JUST not NICE!" …and where are the balance of Americans who aren't captive to your peopled gigglesome platitudes? They're not wasting their time on you…so why am I? I am so outta here.💨

  4. The meat in question was caught filtering through the new Trump fence and crawling along the ground pretending to be a consortium of snakes but when apprehended, border patrol noticed their particular smell and began a weinee roast and the Weiner in Chief was called in to partake in sucking down the tubular refreshments which reminded him so much of Devin Nunes' tiny appendage so he said in remarks to the gathered officials.

  5. Love Stephen & Meanwhile …but hate the stinking tuna bits of boredom & repetition between my Teeth, which add up to the unfunny intro sauce of Stephen's segment …MEANWHILE!! 😴

  6. No mom we’re not ganna Netflix and Chill we’re ganna
    HBO now and plow
    And afterwards we’re ganna Disney plus and thrust and final lill be CBS all access 🥴

  7. why cant you just put these stories in the monologue so it's not entirely political, and drop this segment? dont get me wrong, i like the political stuff, but i'm getting annoyed of skipping the first 45 seconds of every meanwhile video to get to the actual material

  8. This isn't the first time a full course meal has been served on the (L) train. From 2011: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2BDZFPpLMRU

  9. That's awesome how people planned the train dinner and just love eachother , they refuse to give in to the hate out there!🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

  10. They have incredible food trucks and hole in the wall Mexican dinners.

    You know it's good when it looks illegal.

    They don't charge much money for anything.
    That seized meat is a lot of people not getting affordable food

  11. I wouldn't worry about the Thanksgiving day parade. The chosen one can just raise a hand (with a sharpie in it), and adjust the weather map.

  12. No word on President Trump in Afghanistan,shame on you little Jimmy, some Americans were woking for good,what were the Democrats doing?

  13. Can't believe that rock climber died ! Life is too short and wasting it on foolishness like this is unspeakable – that's why the consequences will be dire and people are young to jail ! The trending now is always the same old same old same old ! Tiresome – that's why it's almost pointless to even look or go on social media it's unexciting and depressing – y'all got a rude awakening coming ! Enjoy it while you can ! The second someone dies their job then things are gonna change rapidly and dramatically ! You picked the wrong guy ! Obviously – only thing left is putting y'all in prison – that's easy ! A layup – aren't y'all excited ? Prison or prison ? Like I told you years ago – I'm gonna walk you into jail doing jargon ! I promise you dat !

  14. I haven’t watched this video yet, but I’m about to, and I predict he mentions trump in it. Here I go,Fawk!! Me! Amazing he didn’t mention a word, amazing

  15. Why not just say “Disney+ One.”

    If you get an invite to an event that allows you to bring a “plus one”, you take someone you like.

    “Netflix and chill” isn’t as crude sounding as “Disney+ and thrust.”

  16. I was once propositioned for foot jerking when I visited NY and rode the L…. thankfully there was an incredibly nice person beside me who pretended to be my S.O. – however, that nice person beside me then tried to offer me some 'free' crack afterwards…. so…. <shrug>

  17. Trump: Call McDonald's, tell them I don't want cranberry on my Thanksgiving turkey burger. Also, replace the turkey with beef and cheese.

  18. Actually Cannabis is a spectrum.
    Nicotine, the strongest of all natural narcotics, is THE gateway drug to heroin and other deadly opioids. dude…..duh.
    {RUDI! get back to the table and stop doin'da' business!!!}

  19. Did he just call his monologue a "turkey", as in, "That's one turkey of a monologue…" ? I STILL want to see the "Baby Trump" balloon in Macy's parade… ;-P

  20. As an introvert, i dont get parades…. i dont get fireworks anymore either…. like we got the Hulk fighting aliens on tv… if we got as creative as japan is with their fireworks

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